Momfessions

Regular. Everyday. Life.

I took a little hiatus from writing. Summer has me busy busy busy. I had an article written about my son that I was going to share today, but at 10:34 p.m. on Saturday night, I decided I wanted to do something different….

Most of my writings thus far have been about motherhood and my journey. Leaving the end with bits of wisdom or advice etc. Don’t get me wrong, I love it and have no intentions of stopping, but I get in moods where I get tired of sappy crap and think, lets just have a little fun.

What made me start writing for newsymom in the first place, is the response I received to the shenanigans that take place on a daily basis within my home. I’m not sure I have gotten to share enough of this with our readers.

Let me explain… This week is community yard sale week. Hellllllllooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In small town talk, that’s a very close second to the county fair, (WHICH I DO NOT ATTEND) – An entirely different article.

My family and I round up our junk, throw water slides in the yard, and let the kids go wild. Luckily, they all like each other and that makes for a nice relaxing couple days for us moms. Then lunch time hits and we have to feed the mob.

Here’s where it gets good….

This was the second day and I promised the kids a slip and slide which I had to run over to my house to get. I also was providing the lunch meat. What should have been a 10 minute trip turned in to almost an hour.

I ran into the house and put a tank top on, with full intention of grabbing the ham, loading up the slip and slide, and being on my way.

I opened the garage door and here it comes…..

There is a giant dead fish laying on my garage floor. If you know me personally, you know this is not abnormal. If something odd is going to happen you better believe it will happen to me.

I stand there thinking, what on earth am I going to do with this thing.

I decide against my better judgment to go ask my husband what to do.

He works midnights so being coherent enough to have a conversation, let alone about a dead fish in the middle of our garage floor, is a long shot.

Did I tell you, this is his fish? He’s been doctoring these things for months, to put a koi pond in our back yard. The problem was, he built them a box-cave to have a hide out, and we are thinking it got stuck on top of it some how and flopped itself out on to the floor.

I was hoping he would wake up and pick it up himself but I was left to my own devices. I thought about leaving it there for him until he woke up but was afraid the 90 degree weather would…ugh gross…you get the point.

Here I am, just me and this fish, wondering why we never gave him a name. I picked it up in a walmart bag and disposed of him.

Meanwhile, I look at the neighbors who are getting a much bigger kick out of this then I am.

I left my car running this entire time on automatic start. Which means the keys were in the house. I finally get the giant gold fish taken care of and run out of the garage to get back in the car. You guessed it, I do not have the keys and I just locked them in the garage.

Now I’ve locked myself out….

I humbly walk over to the neighbors and they let me borrow their phone so I can wake up my husband!

AGAIN!!!!

He doesn’t hear it because waking him up is like waking a bear in hibernation..

I start ringing the door bell over and over again….

Finally, he comes to the door.

I explain the situation. I’m pretty sure to this day, he still has no idea what I told him. Although I cant blame him, after 10 years together he is used to these antics I stumble into. I get my keys and leave.

Later that night, I have to explain to my son what happen to our sweet fishy. After he held back the tears for a second, he says “I know what we can do mom, cut him up and have some fish sticks!”

Moral of the story……. “When life gives you a dead fish in the garage, make fish sticks.”

💜 Jess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Momfessions, News

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