Momfessions

A Child’s Eyes

In your longest day, remember to look into your child’s eyes. Only then will you realize how short it really is.

Remi GirlI am grateful as the sun rises each day, but honestly, at times I question if it will ever set.

With essentially three jobs, a house to keep clean, a toddler (WHAT!! When did that happen) to chase after and keep alive, dinner to make…

It seems some days go on forever and all I can think of is sitting down and relaxing for roughly an hour before I must force my brain to turn off and try and get some shut eye so I’m somewhat awake to do it all again the next day…

Sometimes, I wake up thinking of a nap!

I have always been very career oriented. And while this is great, sometimes I have to remind myself to stop and focus on what’s really important.

As my mom would say, “You work to live…you don’t live to work.”

And you know, she’s exactly right.

I am incredibly passionate about my career and I more than love what I get to do every day, but add that to being a mom and the days sometimes feel like they’ll never end.

It’s hard to truly cherish and appreciate what’s right in front of you, the moments that are slipping through your fingers as you rush to answer a call or rush to do a sink full of dishes or rush to change over the laundry when all you can think about is when you will finally get ‘me-time.’

Have I done this?

Guilty.

There have been days I become so focused on what needs to be done that I run around the house like a crazy woman. My little follows me into nearly every room.

The hustle and bustle of life can very easily force you into fast forward. And unfortunately, rewinding isn’t reality.

Earlier this week, I was having one of these days. I was running around playing with Remi by talking to her about how I was folding laundry, singing her ABCs as I did the dishes and teaching her animal noises as I wrote an article for work.

Then came nap time…my saving grace.

Not for the reason, you may assume, but because God works in mysterious ways.

This nap time was not like others. Typically, my girl goes down without a fight and even at times leans into the crib because she’s ready for ‘baby-time’ to catch some Zs.

But, this nap time…was different.

While in my arms, my angel lifted her head from my shoulder and leaned in to kiss me without being prompted.

She did this several times before reaching her tiny, sweet arms around my shoulders and squeezing as tight as her little body would allow.

Then, to add to my moment of salvation, she began to say ‘momma, ma, ma, ma’ in the most heavenly voice imaginable.

Another moment came in which she gazed into my eyes and smiled.

She snuggled me for 15 minutes and fell fast asleep before I forced myself to lie her down so she could sleep soundly.

Sweet, tired and loving on her momma.

Then…then it hit me.

How many moments like this do I have left?

One day, she’ll be yelling “MOM, MOM, MOM” when she’s mad or wants something or while slamming the door in a fit.

One day, she’ll squeeze the shoulders of her partner and lean in for a kiss on her wedding day.

One day, she’ll gaze into the eyes of her own child.

One day, she’ll fall fast asleep in her own bed, in her own home, who knows how far away from me.

In that instant, I realized that while I was running through life to get everything accomplished and while looking forward to the setting sun, which felt it would never come…I was running out of time.

Running out of time to be her number one.

Running out of time to be her whole world.

Running out of time to be who she always wanted.

I was running out of time to be able to hold and sing to my whole world.

She wouldn’t want me like this forever.

So, I stopped. I sat there and a tear ran down my cheek just thinking about how short each day truly is.

Sure, the days can seem long, but only because we pack so much into each one. There is a way to juggle a successful career you love and being a mother and a wife.

You CANNOT forget what’s important.

You CANNOT forget why you’re doing everything you’re doing.

Look into the eyes of your child. There, you will find a ticking clock that will remind you to hold each moment as close to your heart as possible. For one day, that’s the only place it will live…

❤ Michaela

Categories: Momfessions

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