This cliché depicts the moments that are difficult in our lives and the bright moments that are to follow. This past weekend our family traveled to Mississippi for the homegoing celebration of my husband’s lovely grandmother. She was a sweet woman that lived life and left love to her family for them cherish. As we traveled home I thought deeply about the silver linings of clouds that get overshadowed by the moments of life that are difficult.
While this trip was bittersweet it got me to thinking about family and all the great things that have happened in our family that has become the silver linings to the clouds that have now passed. So, I want to share our family story with you. To give some encouragement to the single moms. There’s more than what meets the eye behind the love we share as a family. We grew in love as a family. We’re not the perfect nuclear family. So, this one here is for all the mom’s who look at their situations and wonder will it ever all come together? Will they ever share a love story with a man who will raise, love and accept their kids as their own. Every cloud has a silver lining….
So, we’re a blended family- I had my oldest son at the tender age of 21, he grew me up and taught me selflessness. I decided at 4 months pregnant that a relationship with his dad wasn’t for me. It was the best, I’m a big girl and I don’t play games so I stayed about business (raising my son was like a business and a job to me) so I kept all our communication about the business-diapers, cribs, and visitations. LOL.
After I had Joah I thought to myself many days that my independence and stubborn head would be the end of me. I cried many nights over how I’d do my best by him. Don’t get me wrong I had a village around me that always had my back if I needed anything, but I was stubborn and too independent to ask anyone for help. Somehow God always provided and Joah never went without a thing. I’m forever grateful for that.
I quickly figured out that single motherhood is not for the faint at heart and that in order to keep the faith and hope for better days I had to keep my faith first and die to the idea that perfection makes you look better than showing how strong you can be when you push past your weaknesses. I went on a few dinner dates here and there and decided dating wasn’t my speed and I’d be better off single raising a young King with the help of the village around me. LOL
Clearly, God had another plan-Sean and I have been friends since we were 18 so when our mutual best friends’ wedding approached in 2012 we said we’d get caught up. Well, we caught up laughed and like old times. From that weekend forward, we decided to keep up with each other and to my surprise that meant every other weekend doing dinner and sometimes movies and frequents talks about the dreams we were chasing. Soon after, however, we took a shot a relationship with a little more feeling even though we both swore we’d never get married. Now this not a ‘momfession’ about our love story, I’m going somewhere.
It seemed at the moment of our engagement that the silver lining of a lot of clouds was becoming more apparent. Even though, I was never one of those women that hoped I’d find a man to be a father to my son-crazy right? Well, I was a firm believer that even with an absent Father my son would never feel like he was missing anything, I was determined not to focus on what wasn’t there but to capitalize on what there, lots of love and family. So, when we got married and we became an instant family, I was seriously nervous because I had never lived with a man before and I had these unsettled butterflies about how things would go between the two of them. Even though they had been around each other and started to form a relationship, I was nervous. But I said God had a plan, right? Well, he did- in the midst of growing in love as a family, we weathered the storm of blending our lives all the while putting Joah (and the little kids, we added 1 kid our 1st year of marriage and 2 our 2nd year- WE ARE DONE NOW LOL) at the forefront. Sean has been grooming him into quite the man who holds his head high and stands tall. As a blended family, I see the silver lining daily now because I know that the “cloudy” days have past and we are living a life where our love for each other, our kids and the dreams we are collaborating on are all growing.
Keep your hearts full hope single mommas, know that there isn’t a day where the plan that God has for you isn’t unfolding no matter where you are in your life. It gets hard, it gets weary but your kids are watching you and if you keep your faith first and let love take the wheel there is nothing that God will withhold from you including family, love, and growth. And to all the moms in a blended family. Stay strong, it gets hard and weary too but just know that your sacrifice is not in vain, sometimes we want our kids to recognize what we do for them but in turn, God wants us to see what they do for us. They grow us, they stretch us and cause us to choose love above all else.