We sent you off to your first day of preschool today and watched your pony tail swing. I reminisced when you were growing in my belly and I was scared to death. I thought about that first time I walked into a store while still pregnant to buy you clothes and walked right back out because there was too much to choose from. I wasn’t sure if you were a girl or boy at the time but something inside of me just knew.
Today, you ran off in that little dinosaur & unicorn dress that we checked the mail for everyday until it arrived. It was symbolic to me in a way, because you are fierce like a dinosaur and unique like a unicorn.
Your daddy took vacation days that week so he could walk with you to your first days. He called me after dropping you off with tears in his eyes, “that little turd made me cry, I didn’t know it would be this hard.” Play by play he told me how you walked into your classroom with your head held high, scanning the room to see what you could get in to. No tears from you, just excitement and determination.
I am so proud of you.
This letter is more than preschool, this letter is for life.
When you cross over into the first few years of elementary it will be full of learning and joy. Your strong will and confidence will shine. We walked this journey with your brother who is kind and timid, he thinks his decisions through with every bit of information he can obtain before finalizing and you are kind in a different way. Your kindness will show with more force. That is a quality that is not learned it is one you are born with.
My goal is to teach you how to cultivate that fierceness with out dulling your spirit. There is a fine line between being confident and being conceited. Society today will perceive it on its own terms. I will teach you how to master the balance. Confidence and humbleness are married to each other, you can’t have one with out the other.
Elementary will end and life will get more intense then you’ve ever felt it. Middle school will start. Girls will start to develop and boys will talk about things they’ve seen on movies or in some of their homes. They will act like they know what slang sexual terms mean but they don’t. Never be afraid to come to me and ask what these terms mean. I will do my very best to explain them to you without tainting your innocence. If I teach you anything by this letter I want it to be that NO MEANS NO. I anticipate you will have a cell phone by that time and I will “invade your privacy” by going through it. Just know that I will. It may wait until high school but I doubt it. I want you to know if your faced with a situation that makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to make up some excuse, you don’t have to say because my mom or dad will get mad, or say because my body is flawed in someway. You plant your feet firmly on the ground, tilt your shoulders back a little harder, and look that person square in the face and say “I said no.” You owe no one anything more then that, because your word – my sweet heart – is your power and if you teach others that your word is golden they will treat it as such.
High School will come and go faster then you ever thought possible. Here you will make some of your most precious friends but also some of your toughest critics. You will have friends from middle school that act like you never existed but you will find your place. I can’t stress enough being kind in this aspect of your life. You’ll dabble your feet in the real world. You’ll probably start your first job and make some friends from different schools. We’ll do college visits and trade school visits. Until one day after a short few years we will be packing up your car and sending you off, questioning if we taught you enough if you are strong enough to withstand the storms of life. You will be ready, so ready – to show us how strong you really are.
My strong, silly, smart girl – start your journey. Play with those wooden blocks, learn those letters, write your name and read me a story. Complain about naptime and eat goldfish. Be fierce, confident and humble. I can not wait to see what direction you lead your life. Always remember I am beside you on the mountain tops and in the valleys because you will forever be my girl.
💜 Mommy (Jess)