When I had my first child, I dove completely into the role of Mother. Completely. Nothing else mattered to me at all…
As far as I was concerned, I was JUST her mom. I quit the job that I loved, and had good friends at so I could stay home with her, instead of putting her in daycare, or paying someone to watch her. I stopped doing things that I enjoyed so that she could have ALL of my attention.
I didn’t hang out with my friends anymore, because “oh my goodness, lunch?! I can’t do lunch! That’s right during nap time!!”. Every mom knows you don’t mess with nap time! If an outing involved not taking the baby, forget it. I felt like a bad mom if I did anything without her, or had to get a babysitter for her. I wanted her with me 24/7. And she was.
My relationship with my husband suffered a little because I completely lost myself. I wasn’t the girl he met or married. I was a mom now, and that’s all I cared about.
Motherhood is the most important part of my life, but it isn’t all that matters. And it shouldn’t be.
When I had my second child, I learned how to balance things. I was still all about him, but I learned how to be about me, too. I learned that it’s ok to let someone else (grandparents, babysitter…) take the reigns once in a while and that not only is it ok, it’s NECESSARY, if for nothing else, my sanity.
Now, that first baby is 10 years old, and that second one is 6 years old. I have a job that I love. I have great friends. I have hobbies, and I make it a point to set some time aside every day for me. Just me.
Mommas, listen up. Self-care is important. It’s SO important. Take time for you. Only you. Go for a run, take a drive, meditate, work out, read a book, get your nails done…whatever it is you enjoy, make it a priority. Your kids need you happy. Your whole life is wrapped up in taking care of them. You owe it to yourself to take care of you. I promise it doesn’t make you a bad mom. Believe it or not, they need a break from you sometimes, too. It’s healthy for everyone.
New moms, you’ll feel this way in a few years, mark my words!