The Big 30. Living It, Learing it, Loving it

So this is it. The big one. The big day. The big kahuna.

I’m kidding. I’m just 30. I turned 30.

Age is just a number to me, it doesn’t get me bent out of shape or overly sensitive, maybe a little sentimental though…

I still sled ride, ride bikes, run miles, throw water balloons, jump smoking logs, eat starburst and pizza. I still have the best lifelong friend I’ve had since I was pretty much birthed. Not much has changed in any of those departments.

What’s changed is between water ballon fights and carbs I have to work a little harder in the gym and for every 15 minutes that passes doing things a 30 year old woman has no business doing….cough cough like jumping logs….I’m also accumulating 15 loads of laundry and 10 bowls of half eaten cereal chillaxin in curdled milk waiting to be washed.

See this is what I’ve learned.

I’ve learned that a lifelong friend is one of God’s biggest blessings

    . Shout out to you my sweet friend Timberly. Yes – with a “T” it’s not a typo. This woman is my nanny, my counselor, my comedian, my best friend. Did I mention she’s a massage therapist. God dealt me a A+ deck with that one. There is nothing like a friend you can call on a whim to eat Mexican food or cry to because you husband is driving you bonkers. She showed up at my doorstep and drove through inches of snow today just to make sure I received the birthday present she’s been taunting me with for months. Find ya a friend that you can say remember when we were 10 and……she can finish your sentence because she will know exactly what you’re going to say before you say it. You need that in your 30s.

Learn to say no.

    Gosh, I can’t stress this enough. If you get invited to and outing that you don’t want to go to and it puts you in a mood before you even leave. SAY NO. If your swamped to the max and need a minute to breath. SAY NO.

Grow up.

    • Legitimately grow up. Get your finances in order. Look deeper in to the reality of retirement.

Quit wearing frosted blue eye shadow. Wait. What?

    • Get savings accounts for your children.

I’m not giving up my dreams of being a karaoke dream team though. Maybe in my 40s…..maybe

    . Get new quotes on your insurance policies. Get life insurance.

Visit your grandparents.

    Ah I can’t stress this enough. I can’t put it in to any other words then love your grams and gramps. Soak up their wisdom and be there to make them laugh. They may have aged since you were a babe in their arms but let me tell ya, they still love your company. Be there and be present.

Be present.

    • This. This I’m guilty of. I’ve got my face buried in my phone half the time, the other times I’m chasing my children or providing them with their own personal chauffeur service. If I’m not doing one of those two things I’m thinking about

whose homework needs done, what appointment we have next week, which bill needs paid, what I’m making for supper, is the boys sports uniforms washed, did each kid get enough attention, did I remind my husband to call the vet, crap – did I miss baseball sign ups or my nieces birthday?

    All I’m saying is take the time to disconnect. Those times you’re chauffeuring your kids in the car and your winning imaginary arguments in your head with the cashier who mean mugged you at Walmart, you could be listening to you son tell you about how he sat by the girl at lunch that everyone makes fun of but he doesn’t understand why. Or him rattling off the years that every significant figure in black history month was born. You don’t want to miss those moments.

Remove toxic people from your life. Ain’t nobody got time for this.

    And let me just say if you do, you are the problem. Let me just be candid, if there is a human being on this planet that you see and your back starts to sweat, your heart starts to pump, your hands are sweating and you’re standing there with a smile on your face trying to hide it. IT’S TIME FOR THEM TO GO. God made us all different for a reason, he also said love your enemies, I know it and Lord forgive me in the moments I fail. But, I didn’t read anywhere that I’ve got to let them come over for dinner, invite them into my home or my life. Some people just don’t jive. You can be a respectful human being and still not get along with certain people. That’s ok, let them go.

Set boundaries.

    This my loyal and faithful Newsymom audience was when I conquered my 20’s. I said enough is enough. I said you know what, no – I’m not doing it anymore, I can’t – this is my line, you’ve crossed it and you’re not welcome here anymore. With that opened a flood gate of power and control of my own life. Man, it made some people mad, especially the ones I let run all over me, but when I said this isn’t my narrative, you’re affecting my life with my children and I won’t allow it, was when I was transformed with a substantial amount of peace.

Always do your best.

    This one is simple. Give it your all. Everything you do, put the fire in your soul in to it. BUT. Don’t be mad at yourself when you have nothing else to give. When you’re finished. It’s finished. Because you know you did your best.

Find your passion.

    I mean your real passion. Not the ones your read about on Pinterest. The one God set in your souls. The one that you want to go down with you when you go. I think there is a distinct difference between a goal and a passion. Set goals and crush them. Weather it be a weight loss, a career, a relationship. But your passion, your passion is what ignited your heart and burdens your soul. Find that


    I know it’s a cliche phrase, trademarked by Ellen right now but let’s be honest she’s on to something. Can we all just be nice. Love one another? Raise our children to do the same? Go out of your way to make another human being realize they matter.

I guess at the end of the day. Today in particular. My 30th birthday, I’m laying in bed thinking about how today I did nothing different. I sat at home with my kids, played Old Maid (the card game, but I guess real life now too), cleaned the kitchen and did some laundry. But other people did something different. They took time out of their day to make mine special, not because I asked them too. Not because I needed them too, but mostly because they chose too. I made a vow to try to be kind to every person I come in to contact with. To live in such a way that if someone speaks ill of me, the other person will know that they’re telling half truths. I want to be known for loving my children and my family. For telling you that your hair looks nice or that you’re rocking that new pink lipstick that took you 30 minutes to muster up the courage to wear. I was blessed and overwhelmed by the texts, Facebook messages, and friendly visits today. Kindness & positivity is contagious, keep it going!!!

Thank you all. Really, it’s been the best one yet!

đź’ś Jess

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