Hi Mommas! I pondered the past few weeks on what I’d write about today. I kept thinking, what is inspirational? What is life changing? Above and beyond I never want my Momfessions to be something that doesn’t leave you thinking or inspired.
So let me share a small story with you, last week I was visiting a site for work and I parked next to a woman in her car with 2 small kids. I smiled and got out my car. Fast forward about an hour later and I’m walking out I hear her yelling, and I assumed she was on the phone.
She actually was yelling at one of her kids. She said to the little girl “You can get out and walk and there is nothing anyone can do about it. It’s not illegal for me to yell at you, it’s not illegal for me to hit you. It’s only illegal for me to break you and I haven’t broken you yet.” (This is tough on so many levels, it left an impression my mind, so I can only imagine what it did in the moment for that little girl).
I put my sunglasses on and pulled away. I got out the parking lot and to a light. My mommy heart just couldn’t take it, All these thoughts went through my head, like how could she talk to her baby that way?, are these kids being abused?, are they safe at home? Those words are so damaging and of course what can do?
As I turned my car around, my thoughts shifted and I began to pray for her, praying that whatever load she was carrying as a mother would be lifted and she would see the beauty of having these children in her life. I prayed for that little girl and her brother, for her esteem, her thoughts that those words wouldn’t take root in her heart and mind. That she as a growing young girl would be mentally protected and unbothered by those comments.
For her brother that he would not be damaged as a bystander and think this is what moms do or how you treat people you love.
I know that when you are waiting for people who have appointments it can be long. So I decided that since it was hot her windows were down and she was still waiting, I would go back get them some cold water and some snacks for the kids.
As I approached her car I wiped my tears, I said “Hi, we had an event yesterday and had tons of water and snacks left over, so I figured while you wait you guys could use some cold water and snacks. I know waiting with little ones can be hard on them and us. I’ve got 4 small kids and waiting in the car when they are antsy can be hard on them and us.” “She said thank you and so did the kids. I made eye contact with the little girl as I lifted my glasses smiled. Her smile was so bright. I got in my car and was reminded of the scripture my grace is sufficient for you.
So I turned my thoughts back to praying that God’s grace wouldcome over her,that God would protect her children and help through whatever she was going through.
Now let’s be honest no mom is exempt from a day where your kids on your nerves, you’re irritated with life’s struggles and you take it out on your kids. We aren’t always our best selves and sometimes the closest ones to us become our punching bags. In that moment her kids were her punching bag. I think many times as moms we see another mother struggling and we pass judgement.
OR as singles before children we saw a struggling mother and made a decision of what we would never do as a mom. Reality is every mother struggles whether it be with postpartum, anxiety, OCD, depression, low self-esteem, poor decision making, perfectionism, financially etc. You as a mother will have an area of struggle-an area where you can use all the grace you get and all the help you can get as well. However, if you see another mother struggling in the area you have been graced, HELP A SISTA OUT.
Don’t judge her, don’t cut your eyes at her, for goodness sake DON’T STARE AT HER!, don’t bad mouth her to other people. HELP her, greet her, give a warm smile, offer a resource if she is searching for something, make conversation (sometimes people just want to know they aren’t alone and someone else can relate) and if you can pray for her.
It’s important to be self-aware and know the areas you have strength to help and it’s also important to know that we are all a work in progress in different stages of our motherhood process.
Be blessed mommas, may your week be filled with open doors to help and uplift another mother. May you debunk the stigma of motherhood judgement (judging another mom in their weakness) and may you be grateful for the areas that you are strong in.