What’s Keeping Me Up

Hi Mommas,

Anyone else having a hard time sleeping during this pandemic time?

So I’ve found myself up at different hours of the night being reflective of course but enjoying the silence. It’s amazing what apeaceful time it is before the sun comes up. I’ve never been able to sleep-in as it is so I’m naturally a morning person. 

However part of me is still lying awake between 3 and 4 am some days just thinking about the heart of all things in our lives right now. I’m an analytical thinker as it is, so I don’t mind me. But I want to encourage you all as moms and women to think on the heart of it all. What’s at the heart of everything you are doing day in and day out?

So naturally we have a heart and as it beats, we shake, rattle and roll about our lives. And if you are like me and you’ve watched Trolls 2 more than 5 times now, you’ll know this scene, but I will set it for the moms whose kids are like older or are empty nesters. The ending scene in the movie shows the heart beats of trolls in different colors of course. The Trolls realize then that their music is inside them and it’s their heart. And the beat of each one of them is different. 

So one morning I was up before the sun, reflecting on these rough times we are living in and thinking about those colorful beating hearts. I began to think what’s at the heart of our lives and my daily routine. I began to think about how I’m handling homeschooling, work, my new role as my husband’s home workout partner lol, and even the changing times I’m enduring at work. 

I pondered on what’s beating in me. What is it? Is it just the love for my family and the love for the work I do? (To be honest, I don’t love my job that much. I love our mission and what we stand for but that wasn’t my reason for taking the job. I took thejob to give me a better work-life balance so I’ve grown to like it and accept the part I play, but I don’t love it) I’ve always promised transparency with these momfessions so I’m not going to hold back and pretend that I’m super sweet each day and float on cotton candy clouds all day while I work. I don’t. BUT I’m passionate, so that alone drives me to be my best each day while I work. 

My passionate nature has me searching deeper now that I have the time. I am not up getting early before the day starts so that I can tackle the hassle of remembering my lunch, matching socks for the kids (a losing fight I know), homework, early texts from work, and getting everyone to their destinations so I can get to work on time. I’ve got time. Time to walk the house and see my kids in peaceful rest (well the older two because the younger two already have one foot in my chin and usually are sprawled across my bed in peace like they work 15 hour shifts, so I know they are sleeping real good), I have the time to hold my husband’s hand when he rolls over and puts it right by mine, I have time to talk to God about what’s in His heart. 

So in this time, here’s what I found to be at the heart of it all. Faith, Hope and Love. That’s so simple ya’ll probably won’tkeep reading but for the mommas who don’t wanna just see those words as the cute home décor that adorns their homes, I mean it. The beat in our lives right now, is Faith, the times we are living in has drawn people deeper in their faiths. It has exposed them to a spirit led path than they may not have had before OR strengthened it because they have more time to give to their devotion. The color of lives right now is Hope, because we all can only hope for better days ahead. Because while we are all reassessing what “normality” is and what the new norm will be for us, hope is at the core of that. As many people are still encountering difficulties aside from the pandemic madness, hope is all some people have right now. The shape of lives right now is being molded by Love; we all have found a different love for people (some people are being overtaken by the stress of it all and companies/leadership is seeing just how many they value or can do better at “loving” or valuing their employees). We are forgiving more easily and being more compassionate towards others’ lives and circumstances. We have found a different love for community and family. We are seeing the value in the community around us and the strength of it. We are pouringmore love into our families than we could before because our focuses are not divided between the day-day to busyness. 

It’s been amazing to see faith; hope and love come alive for some many. My prayer is that those who aren’t feeling their faith strengthened hope revived and love overflowing would see it in the days to come. Look at your day-to-day, where can you place, faith, hope and love? What do you do with your faith, hope and love each day? And if you can, wake up before the sun rises and enjoy the moment. Be Blessed Mommas, until next time.

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