I’ve been thinking and saying a lot lately, “I’ve had enough of this virus stuff.”
I have had enough of it interrupting our lives and enough of having a talk with myself daily about not living in fear. I have had enough. We all have. We can all attest to that the last 3 months have been a roller coaster of highs and lows.
I didn’t want to talk or even write about this. I wanted to be encouraging and not discuss what’s really going on but I think today I need to get this off my chest. Maybe I’m just preaching to myself or maybe you need this reminder too.
To the mama like me who’s just at the point of trying as hard as she can to bury her head in the sand, avoiding the news headlines, and humming her husband to stop talking about what he read earlier on Facebook then feeling guilty of not knowing what’s happening out there. I’m just tired. I’m just tired of worrying and being fearful, thinking of what if’s and wondering if I’m being overly cautious or not careful enough. I’m tired of the back and forth and not knowing what we’re supposed to be doing.
Everyone has an opinion about all of it, I know that, but as a mom–regardless of the facts about it, it scares and hurts our mommy hearts. I caught myself saying to my husband a few times through all this, “well if it was just us, I’d be okay, but not with the kids.” We’re trying to protect them and keep them from any sickness or harm, and yes, even keep them from the hard realities of the tragedies that are happening around us.
Fear. It can take over if we let it. I have my days where I just feel overwhelmed with fear for my kids, fear of the unknown. But the only thing that’s kept me and continues to keep me sane and grounded through all of this, as a mom who wants her kids healthy and safe, is Gods promises. The Bible lists so many reasons why we should not fear, should not worry.
I heard a Pastor say recently that the bible says,
“Do not be afraid” 365 times; that’s one reminder for each day of the year and boy, do I need it.
It’s so much easier said and to read than to do, I know that too well. I’ve been “THE worrier”, I’ve carried that “title” for years and I’m so ready to let go of it.
I have felt the joy and freedom that comes from resting in the Lord and trusting Jesus with my kids and it is like nothing else! You finally learn to breathe and exhale & inhale deeply knowing your Heavenly Father holds it all and you don’t have to. For me, as a (recovering) worrier, I have to continually remind myself of that feeling of unexplainable peace, seek after Jesus and God’s promises daily, and pray pray pray HARD through my thoughts and feelings. BUT GOD hears and answers my heart every time!
So today, I’m handing it over to my Creator , for the uncountable time this month, and by praying I can leave it there and try not to take it back out of his hands again.
I’m handing it over..
the fear, the worry, the uncertainty, what I can’t control.
Ruth Bell once said “my job is to take care of the possible and to trust God with the impossible.”