You just found your Kid’s Drug Stash-Now What? You’re not alone and something does need to be done so be prepared.
This awareness message is brought to you in partnership with Empower Tusc.
You just discovered your kids’ stash of marijuana in the sock drawer or an empty vodka bottle under the bed. Now, what do you do? How do you react?
Let’s not make it worse than it needs to be. Don’t delay the talk. Look into trends to help know your kid’s risk. Some would be horrified if they discover heroin in their child’s possession, but less disturbed if they found a bottle of Vicodin-however they are both opioids and are equally dangerous. Alcohol seems to be considered a rite of passage, yet it kills more teens than all other drugs combined.
When you’re ready to talk.
What to Say and How to say it.
You are probably feeling the whole range of emotions:
- Disappointment
- Worry
- Anger
- Sadness
Try to stay calm when talking to your child. Yelling, demanding explanations or shaming will only shut the door on a good conversation with answers harder to get. Instead:
- Start the conversation by reminding them that you love them and care for their well-being, then let them know what you found and why it concerns you.
- Make clear that your family’s rules mean drugs and alcohol are completely off limits, not only because they are illegal for minors but because they are harmful.
- Explain what the consequences will be for breaking those rules. Specifics will be up to you to determine, but don’t make them open-ended. You might insist your child come home directly after school for a certain period, for example, but don’t phrase it as “until we can trust you.”
- Don’t waste time lecturing, but do encourage your child to do their own research on substance use and addiction. And because addiction has a genetic component, it’s important to share any family history of problem drinking or drug issues so they understand their risks.
- Assure your child that, while you won’t enable their use, you’re there for them and ready to get them any help they may need and to answer any questions, and they should not fear punishment for reaching out.
When their turn comes to talk they are most likely going to be feeling lots of emotions also:
- Embarrassment
- Panic
After finding your kid’s stash, expect initial responses along the lines of, “It isn’t mine”, “I only did it once and I didn’t even like it”, or “It’s not a big deal”. Your child is going to try to pu the best face possible on this, and your are going to want to believe them. Those can be a bad combination.
Don’t all yourself to get divereted. Instead, encourage conversation by asking open-ended questions that require reflection. Try to determine what substances they have tried or that they used (remember their stash is just the tip of their iceberg) and how often they use them. Ask for their thoughts throughout the conversation.
If you do get them talking, a vital question to consider is whether they use substances to make things better or more bearable. The answer can help point out signs of depression or anxiety, which is a common reason for people of all ages to turn to drugs and alcohol.
At the end of this conversation, you may have created a firm plan as to how to move forward, or you may have only laid the groundwork. Make it clear that you will be talking again and you will follow through with this conversation.
A Stand Worth Taking
Remember it is natural to hope that what you are seeing is merely harmless youth experimentation. Consider that growing brains are much more vulnerable to damage from alcohol and drugs (including marijuana) than an adult. In addition, research confirms that the younger a person is when they start using an addictive substance, the more likely they are to become dependent on it. Anything you can do to delay or minimize your child’s introduction to drugs and alcohol will pay off later.
Kid’s Stash