The Gabby Petito case has taken the nation by storm. For parents everywhere, our hearts are aching as we can truly empathize with what her parents are enduring.
Tragedy Brings Awareness
Countless news publications have been following Gabby’s disappearance as the case becomes darker with potentially sinister warning signs ahead of her disappearance. This is a parent’s worse nightmare.
As our children grow we are forced to let go little by little. We are pushed back from our position as coaches and forced to simply sit in the stands and watch. Making mistakes and failing from time to time are a natural part of growth, but watching your children do so can be one of the most difficult stages of parenting.
Gabby’s parents, from the reports so far, appear loving and committed to their daughter. They appear truly invested in her life and now, unfortunately, her justice. We’ve all heard the saying ‘hindsight is 20/20,” but, it is important that we attempt to learn from these tragedies as much as we can. So, for all the parents out there who may have a young daughter…or son…in a serious relationship, be aware. While we are still learning about what truly happened to Gabby, it brings to light the importance of knowing the signs and red flags indicating someone may be in an abusive relationship.
For all the parents out there, educate yourself. Knowledge is really powerful and the more we know the better. Gabby, while not a teenager, was just 22-years-old. Her relationship with her boyfriend, who was the last person to see her alive, began when they were very young.
Signs of Teen Dating Violence
Romantic relationships between teenagers are incredibly complicated. The undertaking of a relationship, very often, requires more maturity than most teens have developed. These relationships are more likely to be riddled with problems include communication, jealousy, and selflessness.
As a result, teenagers are more likely to be involved in relationships that are unhealthy, violent, and/or abusive. If you are a teenager involved in a romantic relationship it is important to understand the behaviors that may point to an unhealthy and/or abusive relationship.
Reg Flags in Teenage Relationships
Unhealthy or abusive relationships take many forms, and there is not one specific behavior that causes a relationship to be categorized as such. However, there are certain behaviors that should be cause for concern. Behaviors that should raise a red flag include:
- Excessive jealousy or insecurity;
- Invasions of your privacy;
- Unexpected bouts of anger or rage;
- Unusual moodiness;
- Pressuring a partner into unwanted sexual activity;
- Blaming you for problems in the relationship and not taking any responsibility for the same;
- Controlling tendencies;
- Explosive temper;
- Preventing you from going out with or talking to other people;
- Constantly monitoring your whereabouts and checking in to see what you are doing and who you are with;
- Falsely accusing you of things;
- Vandalizing or ruining your personal property;
- Taunting or bullying; or
- Threatening or causing physical violence.
If your partner frequently engages in these behaviors it may be wise to speak with someone with whom you feel comfortable. Adults who have experience with relationships may be able to provide advice that can help you to determine if you are in any danger.
If You Think You Are in an Abusive Relationship
If your partner exhibits any of the behaviors outlined above, or if your partner has physically harmed you in any way, there are many things you can do. Trust your gut – if you think you are in danger or in an unhealthy relationship, you should end it. If you are afraid of confronting your partner or fearful of what they may say or do, there are numerous resources you can contact for help, guidance, or counseling. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, you should consider:
- Reaching out to a trusted friend, teacher, parent, or mentor;
- Spending more time with individuals with whom you are comfortable;
- Getting involved with activities you enjoy that will allow you to associate with positive people;
- Seek the guidance of a school counselor or therapist; or
- Calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).
Studies have found that negative or abusive behaviors in unhealthy relationships are more likely to increase over time. Abuse escalates as the relationship progresses, and victims are more likely to sustain substantial injuries or harm. If you believe that you may be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship do not hesitate to ask for help. Teenage dating violence is more common than you know; you are not alone.
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