“They,” say a woman who cuts her hair is ready to change her life.

Now I have no statistical or factual data to prove this theory so we will just call it a hypothesis. Recently I have been having lots of strategic mental meetings about the caliber of life right now and the caliber of life that is to come in the next chapter of my life.
You know the mental meeting where you make decisions on jobs, prepare to-do lists, decide to take over the word etc. During these moments lately, I have been contemplating what’s good for me and what’s not good for me. My self-health diet so to speak is what needed to change. I realized that I had not been being the best to myself. As a wife and mother, I put everyone else first and worry the least about myself.
Now this isn’t about eating less pizza or drinking less red bull, yes food dieting is a very important part of caring for yourself, but I am talking my self-health (caring for me as a whole) So last week I decided I needed a change. I needed to take better care of myself and start recognizing that I am the only one who is going to be solely committed to seeing me be the best.

I’m not saying my husband, family and friends don’t want what’s best for me and don’t care I am saying the change starts with me, not with them. Every time I get this feeling that I need to change something, I start with m,y room at home, then my office space and then my hair. Why? I have no clue! I made a few changes to my room, shifted around somethings at work and then made the appointment to get my hair cut and colored. Might not seem big to some but it’s big for me.
When I sat in the chair my hairdresser said, so what are we doing today? I said whatever we need to for me to look like a new woman because I am changing somethings and I need to take better care of myself. She said, well OK let’s do it! I cut a few inches, changed my base color and went honey blonde! Once again seems small, but think about the last time, you took time to say I want to be a whole new woman?
We are so busy always putting others first that we do not realize that pushing ourselves to the back burner depletes our self-care one thing at a time. I told my hairdresser, I hadn’t been taking good care of myself lately and I was starting to realize all the things in my life are either controllable or non-controllable. I can control what I eat-I know how to be disciplined when I want to be, I can control how much I work-working two jobs just because I like making money isn’t a healthy reason to overwork myself, I can control the self-inflicted stress of taking care of my home-how often I am mopping the floors and cleaning, doing laundry etc. Most of the “controllable” things are done out of my struggle with perfectionism. What I can’t control is how my kids’ days went, my husband’s day at work, the weather and/or the time of the day. With all the things that flood us as mothers in a day, we always want to be the best mom for our kids. You can’t be the best mom for your kids when you are not the best YOU to YOU.
You have to take a moment, have a mental meeting and decide when it’s a time for a change, for yourself and not for everyone else. As my birthday approaches I am setting some new ambitions for myself and I want to achieve the goals I have-but without ambition I will not see the goals through, without a vision for myself I will perish in self-defeat. And I will not be defeated by my own self (or anything/anyone else either). I have changed my hair so I can change my life. For you maybe it’s not your hair, maybe it’s something else, but take a moment and truly think about your self-care. We have to be better to us to be better for them! Be blessed mommas, I know this may seem like a no-brainer but it’s not all the time, so have a mental meeting, see what you can change and start there for yourself.

-Shaheedrah