Holiday seasons for kids in foster care can be triggering. We learned a lot in 2022 and are entering this season with space for both grief and hope.
Reflections from 2022
The holiday season is upon us. We’re entering our second holiday season with our kiddos. Last year was rough. I remember being in the thick of it and sharing some thoughts on my personal page.
December 26, 2022 –
Not going to lie. It has been a rough few weeks here in the Scally house.
Holidays for kiddos in foster care are a big mix of emotions and triggers. Adding in sicknesses, a scheduled surgery for the little guy, and the messy but necessary rearrangement of bedrooms for the boys and it feels like nothing has been “routine”, leaving us feeling like we’re failing in providing the stability and structure these kiddos thrive in.
Then Christmas.
We woke up Christmas Eve with no water and the already trimmed down plans we had were thrown out due to weather. We’ve been fighting hard against a materialistic Christmas and losing the “family” part of this holiday felt heavy.
But our Father knew what this family needed. We are still without water but the helpless and defeated spirit I was wrestling is renewed. I’m thankful for our neighbors and friends that have become family. That love these kids and love us. That share their showers and their toilets and storm our home on a Christmas Day with a feast. Because all this reminds me of how we are not alone. That we are part of a body that, when working together, does far more than any one part could do alone.
In the chaos and the struggle so much beauty continues to happen and will happen.
I don’t know what next Christmas will look like but I’m glad that 2022 looked like this.
Preparing for 2023
Holidays are so wrapped up in memories for all of us. Some of them are good, some are not. When our kiddos think of many of their previous holiday seasons, they’re reminded of how different things have become. It can be painful to remember how things were.
We learned not to take this personally. To allow space for grieving and disappointment. My husband and I commit to doing what we can to bring them joy during the season. However, part of loving them is letting them process and being there for them in that pain. We don’t want to force our traditions or our expectations on them.
As we enter this season, I’m leaning into our lessons from last year. FIrst, that we are not alone. Our community loved us and stepped in during that incredibly hard season. Second, this kids need love more than they need things. It feels so obvious to say, but I got so caught up in “giving them” all that comes with Christmas that it left me defeated when our plans changed. In the end, we were together and they got to experience how a family faces trials and turns it into something beautiful .