As adults, we often see childhood as a carefree time. While it’s true that children don’t face the same challenges as adults, they do encounter their own unique struggles and emotional hurdles.
Growing up in a complex world, children often face challenges such as changing schools, bullying, the loss of loved ones, and difficulties at home or with friends—each of which can feel huge to them. Being able to thrive despite these challenges comes from resilience- a learned skill!
Resilience is the ability to adapt well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats and stress.
These tips for helping your child build resilience are brought to you in partnership with the Tuscarawas County Health Department.
1.Nurture a Positive Self View
Help your child trust themselves to solve problems and make good decisions. You can do this by giving them the space to solve problems and recognizing the ways they have successfully navigated challenges. Use positive reinforcement when you notice them using good problem solving skills or self regulating techniques..
“I saw you getting frustrated with ABC and noticed how you figured it out by doing XYZ. Good job slowing down and figuring it out!”
Or even a simple; “Good thinking!” can go a long way in building their confidence in problem solving.
2.Accept Challenges & Maintain a Hopeful Outlook
Half of parenting is modeling. The way that we handle adversity and model strength play huge roles in how our children will grow to do the same. It’s okay to be frustrated when challenges come our way, it’s okay to express that frustration. But it’s also important to model how you turn those feelings around and handle the situation..
“Mommy really didn’t expect it to rain today. That’s a huge bummer. Maybe we can find something fun to do inside instead!”
“Oops! I spilled the milk. That’s frustrating but it’ll be okay- we can clean it up!”
3.Teach Your Child Selfcare
Being balanced and well taken care of can help us better deal with stressful times. Teach them the importance of taking care of themselves, taking a break and doing things just for fun. We can also show them that stepping back and taking a break is not only an act of self care, but a great way to deal with the problems we face.
Help your child practice taking a step back from tasks/ situations that feel frustrating or overwhelming. Show them how to remove themselves, self regulate and reassess.
“I’m feeling really frustrated right now. I need to sit down and take a few deep breaths..”
“I was getting frustrated because I wasn’t feeling heard. Now that I’m a little calmer, I’d like to try again”
The ability to take care of yourself and take space when needed, are crucial skills in the toolbox of resilience.
Resilience Is A Tool
Being resilient doesn’t mean that your child won’t experience difficulty or stress. Sadness and anxiety are natural feelings, even for kids. Building resilience can simply help our children better manage these emotions as they navigate challenges.
For more guidance on building resilience, contact a Tuscarawas County health educator at healthed@tchdnow.org
Citations: https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers