It’s been awhile and rightfully so for me, there’s a lot of changes happening inside me and I’m a little scared at times of the woman I’m becoming, I’m feeling a little comfortable with my current level of control (my ability to keep my schedules, and keep up with all the moving pieces of my life) HOWEVER, I feel like the woman inside of me is screaming to take some risks, get out of this comfort zone, shed some things that don’t suite me, grow my mind a little, live more relentless in the pursuit of my purpose and truly forget all the excuses I’ve made for not doing so thus far.
I’m not a feeling ‘new year, new me’-ish, you know how you feel when the last quarter of the year rolls around and you feel required to make new goals for yourself. But I’m feeling introspective about who I’ve become and there definitely a fight with who I’m becoming. The Question is-Who will Win?
I’m not feeling ‘self-care needed’-ish either you know how you feel when you come to grips with the fact that you haven’t been putting yourself as a priority for yourself. I’m actually feeling more in-tune with myself. I’ve been making it a point lately to enjoy silence and daily remind myself that I have to be patient. With everything, like patient even when the light turns yellow and I miss it (lol… that requires a lot of patience)
It has been so hard for me to figure out where my next push for inspiration will come from where my next great desire to become the next best version of myself will come from and I finally just relinquished my control and asked God to work His will in my heart and in my mind. I finally realized there’s been an out a sync balance between what my heart burns to do and what my mind keeps reverting too. I’m not sure if this even makes sense to anyone, but the point of a momfession is to simply confess what the thoughts of a mom really are. And sometimes as a mom, I get out of sync with who my heart screams I am/becoming and what my mind says I can do.
So momma’s as you round out the year, be transparent with your feelings, even if they are uneasy. Remember womanhood and motherhood go hand in hand, become a better woman, grow into a better mother. May God’s grace carry you these last few weeks and may have His love speak louder than anything else you hear! J