Let’s Talk Underage Drinking

Consequences, Boundaries, and Punishments of Underage Drinking.

We talked in Peer Pressure and Drinking last week about teen years how experience emotional and physical changes that are not easy.  As an adult will you be ready to discuss this?  We talked in our post last week about the influences, now lets talk about consequences, boundaries, and punishment associated with this.

Lets think about if and when you catch your teen drinking.  Are you ready.  Do you have a plan.  Its important to address the drinking without anger.  If you catch your teen drinking, that is when you need to be calm, empathetic but frim while you enforce your pre-discussed rules that we talked about last week.  It is important to not lead with anger, shame, or a long lecture.  It will not assist in your follow through of your determined plan.  What teenager likes to be scolded or shamed?  What’s more influential than punishing your older child?

Establishing a loving, supportive relationship with your child is important, as is keeping the channels of communication open.  This shows that teens who have a close, supportive relationship with their parents or guardians are more likely to delay drinking.  With being less susceptible to peer pressure due to a higher self-esteem, and because they will be more comfortable to talk to you and to ask you questions about drinking.

It helps them to live up to your expectations, instead of defying the rules.  They will be more conducive of following your established guidelines because of their close relationship with you.  

Remember that it’s important to lead by example.  Teens don’t do as we say, they do as we do. How you behave around alcohol will teach your child a lot more than any rules you lay out.  Healthy behaviors show them how to have healthy behaviors with drinking also.  Those who are warned about dangers are more likely to wait.

Conversation Pointers:

• Remain calm, honest, and assertive when you talk to your teen about alcohol or any of the tough subjects.
• Acknowledge but be clear in laying out how its different when your an adult.
• Explain their growing body and brain.
• Ask your teen questions and allow them to truly answer.
• Be an open book when talking to your child, always be an active listener when they talk too.
• Don’t be afraid to lay out the rules of your household and why drinking can be dangerous.
• Ask open ended questions.  Where they are going? Who they are seeing? Who their friends are?
• Don’t be afraid to talk about your family and possible challenges of addiction.
• Allow your teen to ask you any questions about this, too.

There are a few ways to talk about alcohol with your teen, both before it becomes a problem and after you’ve had a discipline issue. Here are some tips:

Some DO’s:

• “I remember you’re going out tonight with the guys, sounds like it’ll be a good time. Remember to steer away from alcohol offers, or sips. If you drink, you lose the privelege to drive your car.”
  
• “You said you want to hang out with her this weekend and sleep over? I bet it’ll be good to get away. What are her interests these days? Where are y’all looking to hang out? Who might meet up with you two? Which of her parents will be home? OK, as soon as I get her dad’s number and confirm, we’ll be good to go.“
• “I hear you saying you want to pre-game and after-party around winter formal, but you don’t know where you’ll be? I want you to celebrate but that much unsupervised time away isn’t going to work for me, based on your previous drinking.  Let’s see what’ll work instead: Why don’t you take pictures and dine with your friends, and I’ll arrange for a rideshare to bring you and your date home after the dance? That way, you get to have your time, enjoy the dance and not have to stress about ‘mom picking you up’ or your friends possibly drinking and driving?”
  

Some DON’Ts:

• “I better not catch you drinking!”
• “I forbid you to ___”
• “If any of your friends drink, you better tell me.”
• “I know you’re going to drink so you better just not get drunk.”
• “How much I drink isn’t any of your business.”

Remember stress, peer pressure, transitions, environment, and genetics look different in every kid’s lives and happen at all different ages.  It’s important as a parent or adult role model to be prepared to check off the lists and be ready for this discussion about Underage Drinking.

This week’s awareness campaign brought to you in partnership with The Tuscarawas Anti-Drug Coalition.