Becoming a mom is overwhelming. Between the physical changes to your body and the 24/7 demands of your new baby, it is a challenging time for nearly all women. Need a break? Of course you do!
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When I became a mom, the most daunting thought was that I’d never be alone again. For me, my post-partum depression (PPD) had this introvert dreading the never-ending demands of motherhood. It was terrifying to think I’d never have another moment of me-time. Fortunately, as I worked through treating my PPD, these fears were dispelled with rationality, and I learned when and how to ask for personal time.
- Ask for help. Above all else, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need a break. Whether it’s your partner, trusted friend, family member, or paid help, there are people available to step in and help care for your child(ren) when you need it.
- Take a shower. It was always a chore to get myself into the shower, but I never ever regretted it once I was in the warm water and washing off the day’s exhaustion.
- Decide what you need and block out the guilt. When family would visit and hold my daughter, they’d encourage me to shower or nap, but those things didn’t make me feel better. Folding a load of laundry without interruption, running the vacuum, or tidying up a messy corner of the room helped me unwind and feel better. If a nap is what you need, take one. If it’s folding a load of laundry, fold it.
- Take advantage of your baby’s naps. When baby sleeps, sleep. Or clean the bathroom. Or read a book. Or watch TV. Don’t let pressure or society tell you what to do with your free time. You work so hard when baby is awake- spend naptime doing whatever makes you feel good.
- Go on walks – with or without your baby. Most babies sleep in their stroller on long walks. Take this time to call a loved one, listen to a podcast or audiobook, or just enjoy the sounds of nature.
- Find other moms. Make a pact to help other parents- watch their kids when they need a break and ask for the same. Check in with them often and remind yourself that someone else is feeling similarly to you.
- Stay up a little later or wake up earlier. This one is tough for me- I love sleep. But when I bank a solid 7 or 8 hours and then score a little “alone time” in the mornings before the household wakes up, I always feel refreshed.
It can be scary and strange to take time away from your baby, but it’s healthy and necessary. During the first few months of parenting, it can feel all-consuming… because it is. Remembering to occasionally invest in your hobbies, spend a little time alone, and cultivate friendships is how you bridge that lonely void of motherhood. When your baby is old enough to see you prioritizing that time for yourself, they will develop a healthy respect for friendships, their own hobbies, and the importance of taking some time for themself.
The Pregnancy Care Center is the place for families to receive the support and resources necessary to make life affirming decisions and build stronger families. For more information, please visit https://thepregnancyandparentingcenter.com/services/.