Moms in Training

Video: Mothers in Training – Useful Tips Your Doctor Forgot to Mention

We’re talking about the neuroscience of a baby’s brain!

VIDEO TRANSCRIPTION:

Hello Ohio, My name is Loyola Lucas, parenting strategist, and life coach. And I want to welcome you to a new series in collaboration with newsy mom and mothers and twin training. We are bringing you a series appropriately called mothers. Okay. So each week we’re going to be bringing you parenting tips and strategies geared toward different stages of the parenting journey.

This week, we’re talking about babies. Are you a new mom? How old is your baby? Let us know. We’d love to know if you are a new mom raising a baby. How old is your baby? How many. We are going to be sharing. Um, I’m going to be sharing tips tonight about being a mom with a new baby next each week for the next four weeks, we’re going to be talking about parenting at different stages of the journey.

So, um, give us a shout-out. If you are a new mom raising a baby, we’d love to hear what your, the name of your baby, how old they are. So, okay, so let’s dive right in. What I want to share with you is something your Dr. May not have told you about your baby. So what I find is that frequently, all the nuts and bolts, I call it of motherhood.

Get discussed. Diapers feedings, the changing table, the bed, the stroller, the car seat, right? These are all the things that I know to get covered left and right in the hospital, by the nurses, the doctors, your pediatrician, everything is touched, but this is something that is so exciting that I I’m thrilled to talk to you about it.

Neuroscience. And now I don’t want to scare you. Okay. We’re not going to get into deep stuff, but I want to talk to you about your baby’s brain. Hi, McKayla, love seeing you here. Um, this is very exciting stuff that I want to share with you and, and, and it’s. Right. The brain is kind of like Play-Doh, it’s very moldable.

This is new in science. It’s something that’s never addressed as in the, in the doctor’s office or in the hospital or by nurses. And, and yet. The moldable aspect of a baby’s brain, that hard wiring that happens now is going to impact your child’s life for the rest of their life. That is exciting. And, and a little, like, what do I do with this information?

You see the thing is that, um, the baby is learning even from, in utero, even in the womb. About the world around them. They are picking up on your voice, who are their primary caretakers when they are born, they are very aware of, of the, of those familiar voices they heard. And they tune in to your smell, to your face.

Yeah, their brain is, is acclimating to, to everything about you as the caretaker. This means that everything you say, everything you do, the way you smell, your baby’s picking up that information and registering it in their brain. And this becomes hardwired and affects the way they interpret. For the rest of their life.

So what does that mean? Well, what does that mean for you? I see Tamika is watching McKayla. Tiffany, Demi, do you have questions about. This stage of your baby’s life, that your doctor has an answered. As we, as we are talking about these things, I would love for you to jump in and tell, ask any questions you have.

I’m watching it. I’d love to answer them. Okay. So let me explain something to you. Have you ever noticed when anybody holds your baby, they tend to be. They tend to rock side by side or forward and backward, we always ended up getting a rocking chair. Do you know why that is so instinctive? Why we do that?

The baby’s brain is wired for repetition. It’s actually comforting for a baby to have repetitive movement. And we naturally do that. But what I want to share with you is why we’re doing it. And what’s the benefit of doing it. Anything that’s repetitive is good for the baby’s brain, even something as simple as that rocking movement, which comes so natural.

Okay. So that’s rhythm the baby. The brain is fabulous. How about sounds? Did you know that when you sing, you are D you are creating good development in your baby’s brain. We do these things so instinctively, we don’t even realize that what you’re doing is hard. Wiring the brain for predictability it’s soothing, it’s comforting, and it produces endorphins.

In the brain, not only in the baby’s brain, but in mommy’s brain, too. So even as you were rocking as you’re singing, doesn’t it just feel good? Did you know that it’s good for baby’s brain and that chemical flow too. So when you’re singing those lullabies, those re repetitive sounds and rhythms and. All of that is creating strong chemistry in your baby’s brain.

Okay. Nice to see you. Amy Love, love seeing you guys here. Ask your questions. If you have any I’m having tea and I just want to talk about all things having to do with babies. Um, and keep in mind, mom, like this is a time when you’re not getting it. You are round the clock, changing diapers, you have all kinds of questions, your baby cries, and you, don’t not sure what it means.

You get anxious. You’re asking people for advice like this is a, uh, I call this like, boom. For about three, four months you’re in bootcamp mob. So it’s really, really good to be comforted by knowing how you are. Hardwiring your baby’s brain during this time, by doing things you probably already doing, but knowing why you’re doing them, knowing the benefit that you’re getting is some of the exciting things I want to share with.

So we’re talking about, if you’re just jumping on now, we’re talking about hard wiring the brain about the things we do that are good for baby’s brain. Good for that chemical endorphins that wash through baby and wash through a mom and why it’s happening. We talked about moving. That rocking back and forth, right?

When you hold the baby or side by side, it creates a repetition of movement. And that repetition is so good for baby’s brain because the brain craves, predictable patterns, pre, uh, and, and, and repetition. Next, we talked about sound when you sing, when you sing those lullabies and you repeat certain rhythms, certain words, that pattern again, really, really good for the baby Anan, because they’re familiar with the sound of your voice in utero, in the womb, hearing those pleasant sounds in those early, early stages.

Of a baby’s life creates that comfort, that, that hard wiring, that again, is going to last for a child’s entire life. The first years, those early years are more critical, more important, more, uh, easy to mold than any other time of your child’s life. That is just exciting. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s it’s once you, once you know what to do, why you’re doing it and the benefit of it, you win that increases your confidence.

Okay. So the last thing I want to share with you. On this topic of hard wiring neuroscience, this is heavy stuff that your doctor probably isn’t sharing with you because they’re there, they’re covering the nuts and bolts right. Of, of diaper changes and feedings and, and you know, so many other things, your baby’s weight.

Um, let me, let me take a minute to read this. You may get to this, but is there a way to apply this knowledge and understanding to situations? When babies seems inconsolable, maybe to talk more to them, move a certain way. So there’s going to be a number. This is a great question. Mikayla. Glad you brought it up because right.

Isn’t that when our anxiety rises, when our baby is crying unconsolably and we don’t know why. So the good news is, is this, uh, a baby? The the, the they’re functioning in such a state of just survival mode, that it’s going to be simple to, to run through the checklist of why your baby’s crying and how to comfort them or deal with the problem is going to be really, again, nuts and bolts, right?

It’s not going to be complicated. We tend to rise in our anxiety when we’re guessing, and we don’t know what to do. So it’s going to be those, those things, hunger, tired, pain, um, boredom, um, and. Any one of those basic functions. Right? And so you have to go through the checklist and just go through it. The problem comes when we start like throwing solutions at the wall, right.

You just feed the baby cause maybe the baby’s hungry or you, or you do things, not understanding that your baby may not need the thing you were guessing. So. It’s getting a little confusing. Let me back up to say there’s a checklist and you want to always run through the checklist of the obvious hunger, tired boredom.

Uh, yes. Right. Um, fear, just seeking comfort communication, relieving anxiety, babies. Get anxious. Did you know that sometimes they’re just crying to release that pent up energy of the day. Maybe they’re struggling. They can’t fall asleep. And by crying, they’re releasing that, that anxious energy, but because they can’t communicate, they have no other way to communicate.

Other than through crying. You have mom have to figure it out. What does that cry mean? But all crying is a form of communication and you’re just going to run through that checklist and, and cross things off. So, so keep it simple, right? If I could say anything, I would say, keep it simple, understand that the brain is wired for survival.

Your energy affects you baby. So when we talk about neural wiring, your baby is reading everything in your body language, your tone of voice, your movements, your actions. So if you can maintain your composure. It’s good for the baby. Does that make sense? I hope I answered your question. Mikayla. If anybody else has a question by all means ask it.

I’m not a pediatrician. This is not medical advice. I’m a parenting coach. And so what I do is help you mom, feel more comfortable and competent while you are parenting your child while you’re dealing with the stressors that, that make our kids. Cry act out to the extent that we can feel competent and confident about going through a certain checklist of activities and knowing that we’re doing the right thing, it’s going to show on us.

And as it shows on us, it’s good for our children. They’re kind of resonating bouncing off of us, reacting to. And when we’re reacting to them, that’s when we get that back and forth thing that creates just that bad energy. Right? So the last thing I want to share with you on this topic of wiring, your baby’s brain is smelling.

The olfactory glands are the closest gland to the brain. It’s the closest connection. And when you are strategic about the smells, the sense that you bring to your baby, you create a neural connection. Have you ever noticed that when you have an experience, maybe years later, you get a whiff of that smell and it brings you right back to an experience you had.

That’s what I’m talking about. We can create those neural connections by strategically using a scent, a clean scent, right? For a baby. We don’t want to use any harsh chemicals or heavy perfumes, but anything that’s like natural or organic, or just the mere scent of your own natural body. Remember that your, your child, your baby, even as early, as days old is making a connection in their brain between that scent and you, or that scent and the experience.

So you can strategically take a smell. Maybe you want your child to remember the scent of lavender as a comforting, warm time with bonding time. Well, you can put on a little dab of natural essential oil, maybe on your clothing or on your skin or on a diffuser in the room and begin to strategically help your baby make this association between bedtime and that scent.

And that takes time. This is not never a one and done, uh, any sleep training tips for a 19 month. So, okay. Sleep. Oh my goodness. This is such a great question. Who asked that question? Chanel? I hope I said your name, right? I can tell you if you don’t get a handle on the slide. Training early sleep issues can go on for years.

I work with so many parents who struggle with this. So I love that you’re even asking when it comes to sleep training, such a great conversation. I’ll tell you this, right. It that’s a whole conversation in and of itself. But just like anything else, it requires repetition. We’re training the brain. We got to remember that our children are entitled to be bonkers.

They’re entitled to test us and, and resist us. And. Not be cooperative. That’s part of them learning how to do life. They have to test things there. They’re like little geniuses, little scientists, and they have to explore and test things over and over and over. And we’ll get into more of this as we talk about the toddler years and the middle school years and, and on and on.

So bringing it back to the baby years, which is the topic of tonight. Let me just say, when it comes to this. That you can strategically do things that begin to train your baby to recognize the signs of when things are settling down. And if you can follow a repetition where you have activity high engagement, right?

So you’re going to feed. Play engage and then settle down for sleep. If you can follow that four stage pattern, you can practice that and get into a cycle where your baby begins to recognize the natural patterns of your home. Now, let me say this as a caveat, not everybody has the same value system or philosophy when it comes to a baby sleeping.

So. Some families feel that whatever the baby wants to do, mom and dad or mom is just going to follow the baby’s behavior. And that is a decision that every mom has the right to make. All, all that I’m sharing with you is that the brain is wired for patterns and repetition and seeks them out. And you can use that information to help your child learn how to sleep.

At times when you really need your baby to sleep. And if you practice and stay routine and predictable and incorporate things. Essential oils. Certain smells that register in the brain. Certain sounds that were just during the brain. Maybe you pay, play lullabies at certain times of the day. When you want your baby to sleep, or especially at night, anything you want to program into your child’s neuropsychology.

If you do it at night, that’s when you have. Like everything is in your favor. The stars have lined up. It’s dark, you’re tired. Right? There’s been more activity during the day. So things are lined up for success. If you have a, a structure, a predictable routine, and then really, really nurture that at night.

So I hope that answers your question, gives you a little tip that maybe the doctor didn’t tell you about sleep about when your baby’s crying about the things that are happening in your baby’s brain, that you become valuable information for you, so that you can be more confident, more, um, um, purposeful in your behavior and your choices and your actions so that your baby.

It gets hardwired to understand, to react, to get on your schedule and, um, so that you can help your baby have really good endorphins running through their system as you give them those patterns that predictability. Uh, thank you, Amy. That’s very sweet. Where were you? Where were you? When my kids were babies?

Oh boy. You know, um, You’re not the first person to say that I’ll tell you there is a lot. I wish I knew when I had my first baby. And sometime I’ll tell you the story about how I got into parent coaching and, and everybody has every, everybody who has a mission, they have a story and maybe sometime I’ll get to share my story.

Um, that, that changed everything. So I loved spending this time with you. I’m going to finish my tea. I hope you’re going to get some quiet time to yourself to just mull over these ideas. And I hope you got at least a tip or two that’ll help you enjoy the journey of motherhood. Um, that’s, that’s my advice.

That’s the last thing I want to share with you. I want you to enjoy conscious hardwiring we’ve heard about conscious parenting. Tonight, I’m talking about conscious hard wiring is very exciting. All right. See you again next week.

 

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