I’m a working mom. I work 8am to 4:30pm, Monday-Friday, so I tip my hats to those who are able to stay at home and be with their babies all day. I had to take the day off today because my 3 little kids were sick. Yes, ALL three of them! Talk about a nightmare. I know what you are thinking: “you’ve never been at home during the day with your kids? Or What’s wrong with her, I love being home with my kids”. Now before you start getting all judgy-judgy…

(Yes, I made that up judgmental is the grammatically correct verbiage-I know) Yes, I love all four of my kids and I think about them all day, just ask their sitter and teachers (lol) I am totally a helicopter mom!

But today was CRAZY! Ok let me rewind, last week Samson had a fever one day (no biggie right) then he had another one a day later. Come Friday night there were little red dots on his face, I could only hope it was chicken pox NOPE hand, foot, and mouth the viral arch nemesis of every mother. This virus is untreatable ((only Tylenol or Mortin for the fever and/or pain), you just have to let it run its course. So immediately I start stripping beds and I bust out the bleach. All the while hoping no one else got it because it is highly contagious. It spreads from kid to kid like a wildfire and there is no clue where they get it from. it’s not like the flu where the symptoms are obvious right away, this kind of creeps up on you.

Fast forward to Saturday when Shiloh wakes up with red dots because of course their twin-tuition has to share viral nastiness! Ugh then to my demise Jael catches a fever on Sunday! I mean seriously at this point I am all bleached out! Thank you to my awesome husband who stuck it out with me all weekend in the trenches washing hands, cleaning carpets and couches, HE EVEN DID THE LAUNDRY YA’LL! THE LAUNDRY! Jesus loves me, Y’all.

So today I am at home and Shiloh is yelling from her crib as usual “DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD” Sean just sleeps right through it as usual but by 6am or 6:15am, I can’t take it anymore because she has been up every hour all weekend doing that-just yelling. Since she is yelling that wakes up everyone else. We all get our day started and right away there is fighting amongst the midgets, tears over covers and milk, Jael is whining because Samson wants to sit by her. I guess Shiloh and Samson grew tired of Jael and decided to flip over the couch cushions and climb inside the cabinets on the fireplace. It was funny really. I just laughed because you have to laugh sometimes and they are really funny to watch.

I was reminded, in the midst of this, of what I call my “love meter”. I don’t know if that’s a real thing or if it’s just my imaginary emotional gas tank. Saying “my emotional gas tank is empty” is very long winded, lol… so I’ll just say love meter.

My love meter is how I gauge myself at times and how I self-reflect. Every mom needs to self-reflect. Sometimes we are all so busy trying to paint the Mona Lisa of motherhood or getting knocked down by the hurricane winds of life that we forget to take a moment and check our love meter. Today my love meter was on low. I was tired of cleaning, tired of listening to all the kids cry. I was tired, I had no weekend and today was not a “day off” I worked my other full-time job all day. I never really talk about all things I do in my role as mom and wife. Not because I am not proud of them, but because I am too busy doing them. So, this is truly a transparent post. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with being everything for everyone I never check my meter. I never see that I am running on grace fumes because I literally have given all I have to keep the bathrooms cleaned, making sure the dishes are done, cooking dinner, trying to meal prep for my husband, homework is done, clothes are laid out and the list can go on and on. I don’t believe I am on the only one. But when I look at my love meter on days like today, God so gently reminds me of what I am filled with. I am filled with His love. The love that keeps giving and never runs out. I am not just filled with positive phrases alone for motivational purposes. I am filled with a purpose, this life as crazy, funny and overwhelming as it may be, is my purpose. I was created to be their mom, I was destined to be his wife and it was planned for me to do the job that I am doing right now. My love meter is filled with the understanding that I was built for this, I was built for this phase of my life. This is only a phase; the times will change and I will move on to the next one.

As the day went on, God kept reminding me, you were built for this Shaheedrah. I started to think work will be there when you get back, the last 2 loads of laundry can wait and making taco salad is not a cop-out dinner lol. I know this all may sound practical to some but to me it can get overwhelming. But I was made for this and my love meter is tipping to full even when I feel empty. I can keep going because no one else was made to do the things that God created me to do. I want to encourage you guys to check your love meters.

Take a look at where your line is and let God remind you of all the things He has given to you to fill you up. You are empty because of the things your juggling, you may feel less than, but take a step back. Laugh at it if you have to, cry about it if you need to and watch your love meter tip to full. Be blessed mommas, may God’s unfailing love overshadow you this week and may His path for your life be illuminated.

~Shaheedrah