I had a particularly challenging day, yesterday.  I felt like no child of mine would listen and I was asking myself so many questions.  We all have hard days, this is what went through my head during a challenging morning…

My day started when my 10-month-old woke up and needed to eat.

What time is it?   Only 3am?  good.  Who needs sleep?

I put baby back to sleep.

He woke up. Again?  Why is it only 6am?  Oh, you’re like up now?  You want to play? Fine, I’m up.  I go put on some coffee, because…caffeine.

You need me to hold you?  But you want to crawl?  Are you not going to be happy at all today?  At this point it’s still early, the other two kids are sleeping, and the baby has decided he hates today.  I nursed him to sleep in the rocking chair, finally.

Are the girls up, already?  School doesn’t start till 8:50, why are you up at 7?  Oh, you woke up your sister, too?  Good, toddlers don’t ever need extra sleep.

Didn’t I already make coffee?  Why don’t I have a cup yet?  Oh good, baby is awake.

What do you want me to pack you for lunch?  No, you can’t just take candy.  I don’t care what someone else takes for lunch, they aren’t you.  Please, go get dressed for school, I can handle your lunch.

Where are your pants?  Did you brush your hair?  Did you brush your teeth?  Why are you playing in the sink?  Come on, we need to hurry.  Why didn’t you brush your hair, yet?  Where are your shoes?  Where is your sister?  Don’t worry, she was just in the bathroom, putting on my lipstick. *eye roll*

What time is it?  Yeah, we are going to be late for school.

We run to school.

On the way back from school, my two-year-old is missing a shoe.  Where is your shoe?  When did you lose it?  Back at the school?  So we walk back to school, find the shoe and walk back to our house.

Do you want cereal?  The two-year-old says she wants cereal, but she cries and says she wanted something else, that we don’t have after I already poured the bowl of cereal.

Sorry kid, you’re gonna eat the cereal.

The baby cries. Are you hungry again?  What’s that smell?  Did you poop?  He pooped.  Where are the wipes?  I can’t find the wipes.  I stole wipes from the diaper bag.  Whatever.

Maybe I’ll get that coffee now.  I get the coffee, only 4 hours after I made it, still good.  Start sipping my coffee until… What does the baby have in his mouth?  Where did he get a hair tie?  Why was this hair tie on the floor?  I just swept yesterday.  Why doesn’t my house stay clean?  Why does my baby have to put EVERYTHING in his mouth?  I then search the floor for any other missed, life-threatening, dangerous items.  Back to my coffee… My toddler wants to watch Annie.  Okay, I want to drink my coffee, so I put Annie on.

Does she watch too much tv?  Nope, she is already distracted.  She wants me to play with her.  I play with the toddler, the baby is crawling and they are happy.  Now if I could just drink my coffee really quick…

It’s cold.  Why is my coffee always cold?  

Because I’m a mom.

We have cold coffee, tired eyes, stained clothes, messy hair but we have full hearts.  We have doubts, concerns, scary moments, guilt but we just survive and always do our very best to care for our kids.  Every single hard day, challenging situation with my children is still so precious.  I may be tired and want to cry (or actually cry), but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

<3 Emily