You Truly Are My Sunshines.

Like the song goes my only sunshine, making me happy even when the skies are too gray and everything else is not right.

Hearing your cry’s, snuggling closely, Your first smile’s… It was everything. It was like being blasted in the face with the brightest Ray of sunshine I have ever seen.

Little did I know you would be the remedy that I needed to fill that love I lacked in myself, in my life. My first born, what a mix of emotions. I was panicked ,young ,scared and the unknown left me feeling helpless. How was I going to tell him? Would he stay with me? This was a true challenge…

His face gleamed, getting the confirmation from the doctor was all he needed. We had been together almost a year at this point, and while he was excited, I still had my doubts. It wasn’t until I saw you for the first time that I knew my life would change forever.

Nothing compared to your smell, cry, coo. She needed me and I knew she needed me. Not only did she need me, she loved me. This baby believed in me more than I believed in myself and gave me so much wisdom that had been in front of my face the whole time and I just couldn’t see it.

Soon one turned into two, and again something inside of me changed and changed forever. My brain was bleeding. I was having seizures, the doctors couldn’t get them to stop. I was in a coma when I finally came to, I thought I had lost my little girl. I asked myself why, especially because I knew the love that comes with a child. I was so mad at God asking him why he would let me carry A baby only to lose it. I tried to ask questions but the ventilator in my mouth wouldn’t let me speak. As it turns out elianna was Okay. As the song goes please don’t take that sunshine away.

Motherhood doesn’t come in a pretty little package. So far on my journey, I have learned that through every obstacle I never quit loving them. Through every obstacle, we persevere.I do my best, I love with all of my heart, and I instill empathy, compassion, and love into my children every single day. Those girls truly are my sunshine even when things are gray.

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