With 2021 wrapping up, I want to share this phrase that’s been running through my mind over and over. Maybe it’s my undiagnosed ADHD or maybe it’s Jesus. Heck, maybe it’s just my own internalization of how I made it through the past two years.
That phrase has been, “What’s your baseline.”
I never could have anticipated what my 2020 looked like. It wasn’t easy, it may have been one of the toughest years of my life. As it was for a whole lot of others. I waited years to finally take the plunge into preventative surgery but when I came up for air I realized I had become entangled in a hurricane that I wasn’t prepared for. Infection set in, and this thing called a pandemic that in my 30 years of life had never existed before it viciously seeped through the crust of the earth. I didn’t know how serious this was, hospitals were shutting down surgeries, masks were being worn everywhere. But were these the hardest days of my life? Emotionally & physically, was this my baseline?
I found out as I got my life back together in 2021 that it plays a part, a big part of who I am now. It’s a physical and emotional baseline. Not only was I able to power through that time of my life but I did it relatively seamlessly with the help of family, friends, and an ENTIRE community of support. I found grit in myself that could only be God-given. Having a double mastectomy in my early 30s not only cultivated my strength but it helped me find myself. I watch this pandemic deteriorate relationships, chew up the human race from the inside out, and although it could have been the worst year EVER to have something like this done. It was still a blessing. As the world literally shut down I was already condemned to my house, so I didn’t miss much, except what once was my chest.
Somewhere, at some point in your life, you have a baseline. The day you really had to dig deep and make it or break it. It might not look anything like my baseline but it’s there. There are days that are terrible, and there are days that are great, but honestly, me and my family for once in our lives are resting quite peacefully.
I’m so thankful for that
My husband & I are both working and doing something we love. Our children are happy and well taken care of, for the first time in a long time I’m looking forward to the start of a new year.
I felt I needed to share this, on the toughest days a simple reflection of “what’s my baseline” can go a long way…
Here’s to 2022…
Jess